"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
