i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I am spending my child support on dildos
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
