I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
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