I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
