How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
