I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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