Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
