Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize