my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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