so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
