Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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