dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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