Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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