no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
