I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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