i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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