Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
