Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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