i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
