Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
