he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
