I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
