Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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