I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
