before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
