Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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