took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize