they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
