I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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