I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
