We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
