I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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