I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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