That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
