I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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