So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize