I'm lost and stupid without you.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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