You're so nebulous sometimes
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
