Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
