when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
