Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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