Heybabeimwearingurpanties
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
