its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
