so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
