did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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