And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
birth control should be required to get into college
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
