I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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