Acid is not a monday night drug
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
