It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
