I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Enjoy the penises
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
