The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
