Pappa wants mamma naked
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
two words...techno handjob
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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