So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize