Fine. I'll sleep in my office
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
This is classic penis vs brain.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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