i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Blood and glitter go together right?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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