Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I deserve this hangover.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
