I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
