he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
