just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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