next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
