We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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